Category Archives: South Africa

South Africa without Madiba

There are many things being said about how South Africa is going to wake up the day after Madiba parts. Most are saying that violence will errupt almost immediately between white and black. To be honest, I think that is total crap. Democracy came into this country back in ’94; enough time has gone by for people to understand that the path to follow is that of unison. Look at Zimbabwe, Angola and Mozambique. It didn’t quite work out after the so-called revolutions. They had no Mandela, and until today are still trying to establish themselves. You see, hate is a disease, one that renders its bearer useless. Mandela put that aside. He knew life was greater than that; to look ahead and see possibility, then work toward it – the lesson he gave every South African.

We stand in awe of Mandela, whether we admit it or not. de Klerk set things in motion, and Mandela wisely sought to keep the nation together. And he did. South Africans believe the country steered clear of racial war because of him, and that he, after leaving the presidency, remained with watchful eye over all. We trust him and know he is the balance, the symbol of the new South Africa. With him gone, so is the balance, at least we believe.

So, what is in store for us? I don’t know. Let’s just hold on to example: forget your grudges and gripes. Raise your heads, the future awaits. As for the past, let it be. It has long found a home in the annals of history. Bringing it back time and time again is short-sightedness, an act performed only by fools.

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“Sorry for Zuma”, says Juju Malema

This guy surprises me time and time again. When you least expect, he pulls off some marketing stunt just to get his ugly mug in the headlines. Which stunt you ask? Rude and racially discriminating? Nope. If it were, it’d be easily ignored ’cause all South Africans know he is all talk, and no brain… sorry, action.

The stunt is that of nationally apologizing to South Africans on SAfm for helping bring Jacob Zuma to power. Such a statement is clearly one of desperation, an attempt at reaping some sort of non-existant approval from JuJu haters across Sunny South Africa. He must have recalled how most politicians stepped away from former US president George W.Bush just to save face in that country’s upcoming elections, when the world saw an acting out, well almost, of John Grisham’s novel “THE BRETHREN”. Back on topic. Malema did something similar while in London for the 2012 Olympics, declaring that merit, not politics, should determine who represented South Africa at the Games. Such a statement went against his demeanor of pro-black and kill-all-whites. Could Mr. Big Mouth had undergone a change of heart? No! Of course not, silly! Delving into local newspapers, I quickly discovered a crystal clear motive: the man was humbling himself, like male hyenas do when the female’s around, for but one reason only … he wanted back in the ANC.


So, does being apologetic for Zuma’s office make the ANC roll out their red carpet? Well, it is opportune especially now that ANC leaders are – at least I believe –  a bit on the emotive side with Madiba in hospital and all. Maybe tears will blind them to Malema’s past verbal atrocities.

But, it’s a tough one to answer. See, Juju apologized to the people for Zuma being president, but at the same time he apologized to Zuma for having offended him.

“We apologise to him, but we do not apologise for disagreeing with him on policy direction and his leadership style.”

Ok kids, let’s put this one together:

Juju said…

… sorry for Zuma.

… sorry Zuma.

… Zuma you suck.

Ok, got it! For a second there I thought he had turned over a new leaf, but he’s still the same Juju as always.

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Malema wants an apology? How cute…

Local South African clown Julius Malema wants a formal apology from BBC journo Jonah Fisher for questionaing why Sir Mal”EN”ema criticized the Zimbabwean political party Movement for Democratic Change for operating out of Sandton-based offices, an uptown area of the Johannesburg region. The question was made to confront Malema’s hypocritical remark, once the ANC Youth League “whatever” lives in Sandton himself. As a result, Julius “Anus” Malema called the reporter a bastard and accused him of being a conspirer, undermining, quote, “the credibility and integrity of African leaders”.Yeah, I questioning that too… 😉

Just a note: all South African politicians drive top market cars and live in posh neighbourhoods while the people they should be representing are left to the dogs…

10 two-way dildos for Mal-ema for this latest F*** up.

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Vuvuzela Trumpets

vuvuThis Confed Cup is arguably the best held to date with powerhouses Italy, Spain and Brazil putting on strong performances – yes, I’m being sarcastic. If there’s team that is playing with heart, that team is Egypt. The pharoahs are taking the Cup seriously and really showing the world why they are African Champions. If they win, it’ll be great for Africa.

Now, I believe Fifa took on the King Fahd Cup because it saw the championship as a means of testing the structure of the nation to hold the next World Cup. South Africa has put on a good show so far despite some stadiums being a bit empty. There’s an explanation for that: at $100,00 a ticket, and games being held during working hours(the first match only), how the hell does FIFA expect to have fans on the stands? Idiots! Although this issue does bother, it is easily over looked the minute your ear drums start aching to the unceasing buzz echoing from the stands: the vuvuzela trumpets. The sound is annoying! That’s why the walls of Jericho fell! The people of Jericho broke the walls down on themselves to escape the blaring! Death was the sweeter option. Now, as for those South African fans, they are ALL LUNGS! Don’t they realize the commotion they’re creating? I’m fully aware that it is the country’s soccer culture, but it has to be done away with! Nobody will buy a ticket to have some guy blow the crap out of a vuvuzela throughout the match!

The players and the media have already taken note of this and I believe FIFA will have to come to a decision of whether to ban the ogrish trumpet or not. If nothing is done, the 2010 World Cup is bound to be marred by the ghastly vuvuzela.

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Trust in the ANC?

tThere’s nothing more vomit inducing than having to read sh*t like this. According to ANC deputy president Kgalema Motlanthe, they only want trustworthy people to be part of their political affiliation. Oh yes, and they want Jacob Zuma for President. Trooly honest, hey?

ANC was built on truth and it lives by the truth.

There should be some kind of penalty for politicians that go out publicly claiming to be honest, concerned with the good of society. Come election year, and we’re blown aback by this tidal wave of crap: corrupt people promising this and that, but the only promise they keep is that of filling their own pockets.

If voters had common sense, no ballot would be folded. Trustworthy, my friends, is just a word found in a dictionary.

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Desmond Tutu agrees!

The man who was named after the South African dial tone spoke out. And I´m glad he did! I give you Desmond Tutu:

1/Jul/08 “We have to remind some in our country that there are those in Zimbabwe who have been ready to kill for Mr Mugabe,” said Tutu. “See what happens. They [the South Africans] speak about a revolution. Now, I don’t know what that refers to, but whatever it is, that revolution is not going to be sustained and preserved by intemperate, almost inane utterances. That revolution, the dream that is South Africa, the promise that is South Africa, that is going to be preserved when you and I are vigilant, you and I preserve freedom, you and I stand up for justice… you and I say, hey, our people did not shed blood for nothing.”

So, stop singing for Zuma. Don´t waste your time singing for men in general. It is not he who will feed your family or whatever, but you! Get off you political arses and start working for South Africa, and not for a political party that will do away with you if necessary.

You thought apartheid was tough? You think you´re free now? If you continue submitting to a man with no scruples, you´re done for. Think for youselves!

Consider Mugabe. Zimbabwe is every african´s dream, hey? puh-lease!

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Zuma’s new zong

Charming, isn\'t he?ANC president, Jacob Zuma, said he was happy with the delegates’ behaviour at the 23rd ANC Youth Rally held at NASREC, Johannesburg, on Sunday, 29th June.

So far, nothing bad about that. Just that the so-called “behaviour” that Mr. Zuma approved was a chant that went something like this:

“Choose to kill for Zuma”

How cute!!! Now isn’t that a beautiful song sung by thousands of ignorant young people for a man that stood trial for rape? For a man who apparently has HIV but, according to him, was able to miraculously wash it away after a *”nice hot shower”.

Where in today’s modern world do we openly hear something as hateful as this? Isn’t South Africa a democracy? Doesn’t the majority already hold power? Then why chant words like that!!!???

When questioned why, the president of the ANCYL, Julius Malema, responded:

“These are the words we use to express our love and dedication to the ANC movement” (imagine how he expresses himself to his parents??)

Yip, only in South Africa…

… and yes, this is South Africa’s “youth”: the hope of our tomorrow!

*People of the world, the cure for AIDS!! A nice hot shower!!!

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SA’s highest petrol hike to date

There’s one thing that needs no Viagra to go up in South Africa, and that is petrol. At it’s highest yet, at just under R10,00 ( around US$1,27), South Africans have to tighten their belts and discover ways of dribbling this “disaster”. The country doesn’t sport of any decent  transport infrastructure, and the projects for World Cup 2010 won’t suffice when complete – if completed. And to tell citizens to take up walking is unheard of once everything is far from everything else. It’s not like you can go around the corner for bread!  It’s South Africa! We need to drive around the corner for bread!

This shame is being attributed to a weakened rand and high crude oil prices. If you ask me, it all stinks. With mass media nowadays, corporations can manipulate all they want and profit more – see where I’m getting at? The government you voted for is the government that is doing everything it can to get hold of your pennies.

But it’s moments like these that humour has got to come in and quieten the spirits of those who are paying sun-filled Caribbean vacations for the stinking rich. I got this one by e-mail. It says it all:

Company cars for the New South Africa

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